Quotes

These are some of my favorite quotes from my kids:

Remy quotes

I’m learning about a lot of people - William Shakespeare, Sherlock Holmes, coolio, genghis khan 

My pants fell down. But I have my nun chucks. Want to hear a joke?

I’m like your butler. I do everything for you 

Who needs the radio …. When I can BE the radio 

Watching the lawyer get eaten by a T Rex in Jurassic Park -

“He’s throwing him around like a dog toy!”

It’s like some of that ATM music!

Meant EDM 

More Remy

His fave painters:

Pablo Picasso

Bob Ross

His dream pets

A shadow dragon

A diamond unicorn

A three-headed wolf

And an Axolotle 

At the zoo he said the axolotle was cute, even though it was black (they used to have a pink one) - he told everyone this 

The song boulevard of broken dreams is really The Olive Garden of Broken Dreams 

“You know what would be amazing? Riding to school on a lion. That would be a flex.”

Remy: (watching the circus tent) I love the carnivore!

I like gorillas - they’re black like me!

I’m not a person! I’m a kid!

Sean Connery … rest in piss 

Remy just showed me a new Lego figure he made … he said, “It’s the President … Dr. Phil.”

Does this bad guy need a porkey-pine under his chin? (Goatee)

Daddy you can’t swim because you’re too heavy - you’ll sink. 

Me: did you poop?

Remy: no, just peed. I think I lost my poopetite 

Carrington quotes

“I wish we could go to McDonalds but you don’t want to eat inside because you say it’s too dirty and you have standards. Daddy doesn’t have standards”

"If I was a vampire I'd have to go to night school.

"

"I mean, Raph is like an actual brother to me."

Carrington, on who she will marry:

1. He must not kill anyone.

2. Must be rich.

3. Never play with a Ouija board.

4. Must do things I like.

5. Must pick flowers with me.

6. Must not scare her in the middle of the night.

7. Must not snore - no offense Daddy.

8. Must go to the same work as she does.

9. Someone who likes kids.

10. Someone who likes cats. Not dogs.

Feel those pants? No! Eww! That's where your butt lives! (To mommy)

Have fun losing.

I mean, have fun dying ....

I think I should get a job.

What kind of job?

A nose job.

It was that bigger woman ...

Oh I'm sorry ....

I meant bigger LADY ....